Friday, October 30, 2015
Talk to me you idiot, I like you
And right now I'm listening to lovesick songs and scrolling down this endlessly long train of tumblr posts all about happy endings and new beginnings.
I want that.
I want that with you, idiot.
I see you almost every day. I look forward to Tuesdays and Fridays the most.
I've started to actually worry about what I look like. I want you to think that I care.
I want you to think that I'm funny, and cute, and interesting, and a thesaurus of other adjectives.
I've fallen in love with the idea of you.
I've made you into this picture perfect person for me (with flaws of course, you can't get everything).
I want to figure myself out so that maybe, just maybe
You can fall in love with the idea of me.
So, I'm going to keep feeling butterflies whenever we accidentally brush against each other when getting out of class and get nervous whenever you look at me when I'm filling my cup up with water (which I actually fill up more than three times because the chance of looking into your eyes one more time outweighs my having to pee a million times later) and there will always be this part of me that gets sad when I see you hug other girl.
You haunt me. I see the back of your head in every person that walks in front of me. A picture of you flashes right as the elevator door opens to the third floor. Your name is everywhere I look.
I don't know you.
I barely learned your name just a couple of days ago.
I don't know a single thing about you.
But you don't know how much I think I like you.
Happy Thoughts for October 30, 2015
1. I wore a nice dress today (which I bought for the great price of $8 at Target as a matter of fact)
2. I, Mechu, am going to a party, a real life party, tomorrow and am actually looking forward to it
3. And I'm dressing up as Blaire Waldorf who is everything I'm not
4. I managed to clean my room last night and I got rid of that godforsaken puzzle that was taking over my floor
5. Anything that Radice says out of context would be worthy of a good chuckle.
Currently listening to:
Anything by Ben Rector because he understands my feelings right now
I recently started listening to Balance and Composure and they're pretty dang good
Saturday, October 17, 2015
New Year
It's a new year.
New school year that is.
And it's so different,
yet exactly the same.
It's all the same classes, just one level higher.
And still just as hard.
Still a struggle
Except for that one Personal Health class which is a blessing from above because it is the one time during the week I get to relax.
Did I tell you I'm singing now?
Chorus is the new stomping grounds for your girl.
AKA I have no clue what I'm actually doing
But it sounds cool, so I assume I'm at least doing average.
The cello front is going much better.
I feel more relaxed and I feel like I'm pushing myself a little harder ever day.
There's even a recital coming in the next semester.
I'm simultaneously excited and ignoring the pit in my stomach.
My group of friends is my family.
It's slowly growing, but the close ones will always remain few and mighty.
Love remains lost.
There's a giant Mike Wazowski balloon in my roommates bed right now.
A lone companion in my fall break spent alone on campus.
And that was a blessing in itself.
But what I really want to mention are my goals for this year. And even as I write this I'm still not sure. I filled out a bunch of papers for an education class earlier were I was supposed to come up with goals to learn some motivation strategies or whatever, but I came up with the usual "Let's try to avoid eating so many french fries" and then let it die.
But why?
I need goals. I can't remain stagnant any longer
Goal 1: Make at least 1 other friend. And keep them.
Goal 2: Spend at least a while a week playing for fun.
Goal 3: Learn something new
Goal 4: Stop eating so many french fries. (But actually because it's getting to be a real problem and you need to control yourself girl)
Goal 5: Don't give up on you Happy Book.
Goal 6: Family is the best thing you have. Remember that
Goal 7: Maybe even talk to that boy in chorus?
Happy Thoughts for October 17, 2015
1. I almost finished building that Washington D.C. puzzle today. An enormous feat because there's actually a ton of roads in DC? And they all look the same?
2. My dear dear father bought me Chinese food today, which I devoured while watching two seasons of Scandal
3. I discovered the beauty of Chocolate Chip ice cream. See Mechu? This is what happens when you branch out.
4. I left my bed approximately 3 times just to pee and get my food.
5. My friends come back tomorrow!! (Ignoring the fact that I actually have to shower and clean and practice and do homework AAAAAAAAH)
Currently listening to:
Playlist: "Barefoot in the rain" It makes me feel like I'm in a romantic comedy. What's not to love?
Stray Heart- Green Day
Any ballad from the last three decades
New school year that is.
And it's so different,
yet exactly the same.
It's all the same classes, just one level higher.
And still just as hard.
Still a struggle
Except for that one Personal Health class which is a blessing from above because it is the one time during the week I get to relax.
Did I tell you I'm singing now?
Chorus is the new stomping grounds for your girl.
AKA I have no clue what I'm actually doing
But it sounds cool, so I assume I'm at least doing average.
The cello front is going much better.
I feel more relaxed and I feel like I'm pushing myself a little harder ever day.
There's even a recital coming in the next semester.
I'm simultaneously excited and ignoring the pit in my stomach.
My group of friends is my family.
It's slowly growing, but the close ones will always remain few and mighty.
Love remains lost.
There's a giant Mike Wazowski balloon in my roommates bed right now.
A lone companion in my fall break spent alone on campus.
And that was a blessing in itself.
But what I really want to mention are my goals for this year. And even as I write this I'm still not sure. I filled out a bunch of papers for an education class earlier were I was supposed to come up with goals to learn some motivation strategies or whatever, but I came up with the usual "Let's try to avoid eating so many french fries" and then let it die.
But why?
I need goals. I can't remain stagnant any longer
Goal 1: Make at least 1 other friend. And keep them.
Goal 2: Spend at least a while a week playing for fun.
Goal 3: Learn something new
Goal 4: Stop eating so many french fries. (But actually because it's getting to be a real problem and you need to control yourself girl)
Goal 5: Don't give up on you Happy Book.
Goal 6: Family is the best thing you have. Remember that
Goal 7: Maybe even talk to that boy in chorus?
Happy Thoughts for October 17, 2015
1. I almost finished building that Washington D.C. puzzle today. An enormous feat because there's actually a ton of roads in DC? And they all look the same?
2. My dear dear father bought me Chinese food today, which I devoured while watching two seasons of Scandal
3. I discovered the beauty of Chocolate Chip ice cream. See Mechu? This is what happens when you branch out.
4. I left my bed approximately 3 times just to pee and get my food.
5. My friends come back tomorrow!! (Ignoring the fact that I actually have to shower and clean and practice and do homework AAAAAAAAH)
Currently listening to:
Playlist: "Barefoot in the rain" It makes me feel like I'm in a romantic comedy. What's not to love?
Stray Heart- Green Day
Any ballad from the last three decades
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